First Delivery!!

She had the baby <3

Let me preface this tale by giving a bit of background on how I got my first doula client...

Another doula I interviewed for my certification program offered to be my mentor, but due to our hectic schedules, we were never able to meet up. Fast forward a couple months and I received a text from the doula asking if I wanted to take on a young mom because she was overbooked. We both agreed that it would be a great way for me to start gaining some experience, so I quickly said yes. The doula also stated that she would be available to mentor me throughout the pregnancy and labor, so that was a double bonus.

My mentor and I were able to finally meet face to face so that I could get some basic details about my new client. Then, a plan was made to have a group meeting.

After starting a group text to get everybody’s phone numbers, the first meeting was held with my client, the other doula, and myself. Getting to this meeting was a process, because I immediately learned that like with other facets of my life, I would have to apply the skill of juggling my work life and budding doula practice. At the meeting, I was reserved, allowing my mommy to talk and the other doula to guide the conversation. I listened and took notes, occasionally interjecting with a question or some small talk. Handouts were passed out and a plan was made for a follow-up visit.

I’m being vague to spare my mommy’s personal details, but we did have a false alarm where she did have to go to the ER. I think that was sort of the turning point in our doula-client relationship. At this point, I was occasionally texting my mommy, but we hadn’t had another visit. I was also more focused on working than my doula studies. However, I did at least have the sense to have my doula bag started and ready in the car. So when my mommy sent a text saying that she hadn’t been able to feel the baby’s movements for an extended period of time, we communicated with the other doula, tried to see if any kicks could be counted, and ended up deciding to go to the hospital. I calmly drove to meet her there, even though my nerves were on edge and I had no idea how the situation was going to unfold, but I knew I had to keep myself together.

The visit to the ER turned out to be a non-emergency, but from that point on, I began to check in more and become more engaged. I did research on any symptoms my client was experiencing and grew more eager to finish my assignments in order to progress. I also started turning my phone volume up – something I’m notorious for not doing (lesson learned!). And by this point, Mom was just starting to dilate about one month before her due date, although she was ½ cm. We had more one-on-one visits, where we were able to get to know each other better, and figure out her birth plan.

I didn’t attend any prenatal appointments. Partly because of my work schedule, but also because I didn’t take the initiative to find out when they were and see if I could accommodate my schedule. As a result, my mommy and I usually debriefed after the appointments and monitored ongoing issue that I thought she may want to share. Or at least could be of concern for the baby.

We had a couple more scares where the baby’s movements would decrease, but would eventually pick up after going to the ER. Mommy began to grow tired and ready for baby to arrive. She also started researching at-home induction methods (castor oil, walking, baths, and midwives’ brew) once she hit around 36 ½ weeks. In the meantime, I started ordering my own labor supplies – birth balls, a peanut ball, and honey sticks to name a few – continued with my assignments, and started speed-reading through my assigned books. Occasionally my mentor would check in to see how I was doing and offer her words of wisdom. As for mommy, she was just starting to dilate with Braxton-Hicks, but stayed at about 2 cm for a couple weeks before progressing any further. I decide to drop a birth ball off to mommy and showed her a YouTube video that demonstrated ways she could incorporate the ball to help her self-induce. I also tried to be encouraging and to remind mommy that even though she was dilating slowly, she was still making progress.

The Labor/Delivery

Fast forward again to August 22nd/23rd. Mommy has visited the ER again because she is having more, stronger contractions and is starting to have her bloody show. However, her contractions need to come closer together before the hospital will keep her. I did check in to see if mom tried using the birth ball, but she wasn’t very comfortable using it. In between showering and walking, mom was encourage to get plenty of rest and try to keep herself calm. I also reminder her to breathe through her contractions, as I had noticed she had a tendency to hold her breath when the stronger contractions came.

August 24th – Mommy is 3 days past her due date and sitting at 2 cm. She continues to have contractions, but because she is not progressing, is scheduled to be induced, something that she does not want.

I get a text from Mommy a little before midnight saying that she’s on her way home from the hospital. She is now 3 cm. with contractions happening anywhere from every 2-5 minutes. The hospital instructed her to go home to rest and walk. Mommy did mention that she was in pain, but opted for OTC Tylenol and tea to help (her birth plan specified that she wanted a natural birth). Walking wasn’t much of an option because another contraction would start every time she tried to walk. Because her contractions weren’t closer, I asked her which option she would prefer: laboring at home for as long as she could, or going back to the hospital, of which she chose the latter.

The next morning, Mommy sent a text at 8:00 a.m. stating that she was back at the hospital and was being kept. She was also getting hooked up to an IV line and had made the decision to get an epidural for the pain. By the time she arrived, she was 4 cm. with contractions coming approximately every 5 minutes. I had to go in to work for a few hours, but I reassured her that she could call/text me for anything and I would make my way to her as soon as I was done. Mommy, who was dreadfully tired at this point, wanted to try and rest for a bit since she was just getting settled in her room. We maintained contact throughout, when she wasn’t resting, and she did let me know that the epidural was helping.

By the time I left work (around 1:30) and was making my way to her, she was 8 cm., 90% effaced, and just had her water broken. Mommy was happy that she wasn’t feeling any pain, but starting to get nervous about pushing. Thankfully, we had a wonderful nurse during that first shift that made her feel as relaxed as possible and was also welcoming to me as a new doula.

When I think back on me in that hospital room, I’m not sure what words come to mind to describe myself: nervous, overstimulated, anxious, ready? I got to the hospital a little after 2:00 p.m. after changing in the car on my way there. I spent a lot of my time standing by the bedside, looking at the monitors, and getting a feel for the situation. Mom would stall (or baby I should say), because she would dilate some and then stop for a period of time. The nurse ended up having to give her Pitocin to see if that would bring the baby down and help mommy dilate more. She got all the way to 9 ½ cm. with just a partial lip of the cervix still intact and the baby slowly dropping down through each station, then finally settling at -1. Mom is very hungry (they gave her plenty of fluids, but only water ice to eat) and restless. She’s also had periods where she felt she needed to push, but was told by the nurses to wait so that she didn’t rupture anything or endanger herself.

We ping-ponged off of each other. She would speak up and let me know what was going on – if she was uncomfortable, having contractions, hungry/thirsty, nauseated, etc. and we would address it. I would remind her to breathe or use the bed rails to hold on to for support and remind her that she had the strength to make it through. She had her moments where she doubted herself and we talked through her fears, refocusing on the main objective: meeting baby.

I was so into being in the moment with her that I didn’t even take notes. Barely ate.

By the time I left to pick up my wife, she stated that she was starting to feel some pressure again. That was at 10:35. Before leaving, I gave her one last pep talk to let her know everything would be okay and to trust her body. I lagged a bit leaving, but then zoomed to pick up my wife, thinking maybe I had time to run her and my dogs home and get back to the hospital. As soon as I had everybody loaded in the car and started pulling out of the driveway of my boss’ home, I got a text at 11:22 from my mommy letting me know that the baby had arrived. My face fell. I yelled in anguish. Mommy stated that as soon as I left, the nurse came in and found her to be 10 cm. At that point, mom was ready to push and about 20 minutes later, baby girl had entered the world. Thankfully, mommy had her father, sister, brother, and sister-in-law with her, and her father decided to spend the night with her, so I continued to drive home, still on my own personal rush.

Post-reflections

I’m kind of sad it’s over. Mom has been struggling with some postpartum issues, so there is room for follow-up.

I would have liked to try using the peanut ball to see if maybe that would have helped with the staling. But then again, I was afraid of getting the IV lines tangled or mixing something up J. I definitely would have liked to have more communication and gone to prenatal appointments.

I will definitely make it a point to debrief with her about not being there when it came time to push, because she has mentioned it a couple times.

**My mommy in labor (picture used with her permission!)