Questioning Gender Roles

Questioning Gender Roles Jalisa Bonville-Griffin Walden University SOCW 6200: Human Behavior and the Social Environment

The topics of gender and sexual identity as well as gender expression have proven to be fluid concepts that have received more attention in recent years as more people are coming out against traditional gender norms in modern societies.

This assignment did not pull up a distinct memory in my mind. Growing up, I considered myself a “girly girl”, a female-identified person who preferred to dress in typically standardized clothes for girls, dresses and skirts. In my opinion, I also exhibited behaviors historically assigned to young girls: expected to maintain a kept, socially appropriate appearance and demure demeanor. I did not participate in a sport until high school, but there was no pressure from my family to do so or recoil if I decided to read a book or play an instrument instead.

I do recall a vague incident in my preteen/early teenage years where I had accumulated a significant amount of blue clothing, which at the time was my favorite color. My choices in my wardrobe drew a comment from my mother that subtly and not so subtly suggested that I needed more pink clothes in my wardrobe. The epithet mandating that certain behaviors, styles of dress, or emotional attitudes are unacceptable for girls and boys is a sometimes harsh indicator of the traditional gender roles. At a young age, children are sometimes taught how to behave according to gender, and can sometimes grow up experiencing emotional conflict because they are unsure how to identify and have trouble fitting into predefined molds (Zastrow & Kirst-Ashman, 2016).

The idea that girls are supposed to behave a certain way was repeated when I attempted to come out to my mother in middle school. After having a personal revelation as feeling ready to start taking steps toward living life out of the closet, I was shut down and verbally told that my feelings were unnatural and sinful. In other words, I was trying to live outside of the norms of society. This became contradictory to me because I had trouble understanding how I was supposed to be unafraid of challenging certain views expected of me because of my race and gender, but conform to others. Even the term conforming elicits a strong, negative emotional response.

One of the things I took from “Oliver’s Pink Bicycle”was the moral implied by the story: when raising children, sometimes parents need to challenge and change their expectations (Braly, 2002). The resulting clash between a child and a parent who has unrealistic demands of that child is catastrophic. As human beings, it is not our place to become angry because of someone else’s choices. Energy spent on judging people and reinforcing elitist views is wasted and it is unfair to quickly assign identities to people without allowing them a chance to define themselves. Those that fall outside the limits of society’s boundaries are labeled as outcasts and hastily categorized as abnormal.

The effects are longitudinal; children who have suffered by attempting to fit into specific categories while growing up, have a possibility of becoming parents who influence the incoming wave of infants to be just as narrow-minded (Plummer, Makris, & Brocksen, 2014). Individuals belonging to certain races, classes, and religions are afforded privileges and freedom from persecution based on their being members of the majority groups (Carbado, 2005).

It is our job, not only as social workers, but as human beings to be compassionate towards others. Regardless of our objective dispositions, we have a responsibility to not be so critical with our peers and the journey they are on in life. The same way we do not want others to be so invasive with our personal decisions and attitudes, we need to be just as sensitive. With that being said, as mental health practitioners, we need to always promote tolerance for all persons (Zastrow & Kirst-Ashman, 2016). Goals of efficient practice would include helping people acknowledge their individual differences and embrace those of others. Children need to be allowed to explore facets of their personalities so that they are able to grow into well-developed and adaptive adults. This same consideration needs to be extended to adults who may also be exploring their sexuality and/or gender identity.

Being older, I have learned to reject standards of behavior that perpetuate gender conformity. Sexuality and gender are unique categories that must not be restricted with norms. As such, we need to deconstruct myths that are outdated. The influence of parents in the developmental stages up through childhood is permanent. Children are a direct extension of the ideals they were raised with as children. There is not one tried and true model for parents to follow, but a general rule of letting children establish their identities with nonrestrictive interference is an ideal practice. I had to realize that indeed, while my parents had the best intentions for me when trying to teach me about rules and boundaries, I had to learn which of these boundaries had a place in my personal life, regardless of how others around me would react.

The implications of choosing to ignore or be insensitive to alternative-identifying members in any minority category will assuredly be devastating to the parent-child relationship as well as the psyche of any person who is trying to find and live in his/her own unique identity.

References

Braly. J. (2002). Oliver’s pink bicycle [Audio file]. Retrieved from http://themoth.org/posts/stories/olivers-pink-bicycle Carbado, D.W. (2005). Privilege. In Adams, M., Blumenfeld, W. J., Castaneda, C., Hackman, H. W., Peters, M. L., & Zuniga, X. (Eds.). (2013). Readings for diversity and social justice. (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Routledge Press. Plummer, S.-B., Makris, S., & Brocksen S. M. (Eds.). (2014). Social work case studies: Foundation year. Baltimore, MD: Laureate International Universities Publishing. [Vital Source e-reader]. Zastrow, C. H., & Kirst-Ashman, K. K. (2013). Understanding human behavior and the social environment (9th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole.